date: 1st Mar, 4.38pm.
drinking:Coke
eating: Chocolates
mood:Happy
listening: THUNDER, RAINNNNN.
reading:Facebook tags, mail o:
doing:mass deleting mails.


HEY ALL :D
Its raining pigs, cows and gwens now.
And gwen is super hyper now o_o , wonder why. Maybe due to Ben's birthday? Anyway. Im gonna get him uhhh, uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ROBOT? Idk. Lets seeee. Soccer ball? Things related to soccer? Lego? But he now siao with lego. AIYAHHHHHH I DONT KNOW LA.

The thunder is freaking me out now. :(

I shalll be random.
Okay i shall sprout nonsensical jokes. I cant stand the thunderrrrrrr :( But i luv rainy days yay, that is when im at home.

Phua Chu Kang with his 1234567890

Phua Chu Kang was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1.

This is what he came up with......"1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. But couple saw me,so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I rununtil I fall 6 and throw out. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 tothrow at him.

Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss andsay I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. Healso ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2him but I dont know what he 1".

Sign in the Dark
Silvia: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Dad: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Silvia: Your name on this report card.

Loser woman, pervertic man.
A beautiful young woman gets out of the shower, wraps a towel around her body and tells her husband that he can get in the shower. As he enters the shower, the doorbell rings.

The wife says she'll get the door and goes downstairs.

When she opens the door, she sees her neighbor, Bill, whose mouth opens wide at the sight of her shimmering form. He pulls out two one hundred dollar bills and tells her that they are hers if she will just let the towel fall to her waist. She thinks why not and drops the towel down and takes the money.

Bill gasps at the sight and shows her two more hundreds and offers them if she will just let the towel go altogether. She thinks she has come this far so what the heck and drops the towel to the ground. Bill looks for a minute, thanks her and leaves.

When she got back upstairs, her husband had completed his shower and asks her who was at the door. She says just Bill. The husband replies, "Did he say anything about the $400 he owes me?"

Bravery
BG Lee,Thaksin and Abdullah meet in a tri-nation military excercise,standing infront of a 5-story flagpole.

Thaksin wants to show off the bravery of his men.
"Come see this you two...Sargent! Get up the flagpole there and while you're up there sing the natinal anthem!" "Yes sir!"came the reply and the sargent did just that.

"Thats nothing..." said Abdullah " Lt! Climb that flagpole,balance yourself on top and sing our national anthem!"
"Sir, yes Sir!" and he did just that.

"Both are pathetic effort to show off bravery...i'll show you the real meaning of bravery!" said BG Lee. "Major! Come here! See that flagpole there? Climb it,balance yourself at the top,sing the national anthem and then jump down. Understand!?"
The Singaporean Major looked at the flagpole and replied "Siow! Go and do it yourself ar Sir!" "See? Thats bravery!"
Wireless.
The Americans were very proud that they were the first to use copper telephone wires. They dug 10 metres and found copper wires in use by their ancestors.

Not to be outdone, the French dug 100 metres and found fibre optics! See, we French people were using fibre optics 100 years ago!

The Malaysians were unimpressed. Dr Mahathir ordered his government officials to dig. They dug 10 metres and found nothing. They dug 100 metres and also found nothing. They decided to dig 1000 metres and also found nothing!

Anyway, Dr Mahathir said: Well, this shows that 1000 years ago, we were already using wireless!

Singaporeans.
Always must win
Borrow but never return
Cheap is good
Don't trust anyone
Everything also must grab!
Free! Free! Free!
Grab first talk later
Help yourself to everything
I first, I want, I everything
Jump queue
Keep coming back for more
Look for discount
Must not lose face
Outdo everyone you know
Pay only when necessary
Quit while you are ahead
Rushing and pushing wins the race
Sample are always welcome
Take but don't give
Unless it's free forget it
Vow to be number one
Winner takes it ALL! ALL! ALL!
Yell if necessary to get what you want
Zebras are kiasu because they want tobe both black and white at the same time

Death.
Two men, sentenced to die by hanging on the same day, were led down to the execution room. The priest had given them last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Do you have a last request?"

The man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love to dance and listening to dance music. Could you please play the Macarena and let me dance to it for one last time?" "Certainly," replied the warden.

He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you? What is your final request?" "Please," said the other condemned man with pleading teary eyes, "kill me first."

-x-

Okay in done ciao!

Labels: jokes

CLARICE THE AWESOME ♥ 3/01/2009 04:25:00 PM