F.M.L

It feels so weird to be blogging again. Blocks are coming again, and im supposed to be studying but i cant seem to start. Just thinking, few months back before blocks 1, I had an excuse to do badly (in which i did really badly), cos right before the first paper, SOT class had to be disbanded, and there were many misunderstandings. Was really stressed and thought of slitting and what shit, like banging head into wall. Felt suffocated. Yet now, im feeling stressed again. I really really need to STOP procrastinationg :( SOT's monday class isnt as fun, i really miss the friday class. I missed those time where on friday nights i would be looking forward to the next morning, not minding the fact that i have to wake up at lik 8am/8.30am, rushing to bugis, looking forward to class at 10am. I wouldnt mind reaching early, just to stone and chat with friends. Now i feel like shit every monday and i go to SOT dead tired and dying, dreading it. I dont even care if i reach at 6.45, i dont even walk faster to try to reach earlier, compared to how i used to even run if i was late last year.

Miss those times where i could go there, hair all wet and stand in front of the aircon to blow dry my hair, miss the red classroom, my exclassmates, the whole OLD BUILDING atmosphere, how we used to race the guys by taking the lift while they took the escalators.

Now im in the IP class, yes we learn a little more, harder syllabus, but i'd rather be in the friday class where we had fun, real fun. This class i see Ms Eu trying to be funnny and in front of the whole class, but everyone is just so shit quiet im like what the fuck. I became wayy quieter too as compared to friday or saturday last year, where we were high and like WHOOHOO~ Sigh. Ive been trying to adapt but i just cant, monday class is full of shit. If not for gwen clare celene ruilin i would just quit SOT. And now ruilin is in boarding. Awesome. For one full term. FML.

Whyyyy like that. What happened to those awesome times last year, this year, everything changed. In school, we changed class, 306 is just way different from 210. 210 was, (Y). It was the best class ever, everyone was awesome. Now this year every class im in disbanded. I miss the old SOT compound :( now its a freaking spa place. Sighhhhh. I really miss sec two i guess.

Sec 3 sucks. I dont understand a single shit in class, math physics, you name it. Even chem im a little lag now. Fml. I sleep in class everyday, i tear nonstop due to fatigue, kns. Why is this happening, i dont wanna go for SOT anymore, friday/sat class use to be so noisy, so !~~!!@@!
Now every monday at 630 i will stare at the clock at least 4 times before 830, as compared to last time where after what seemed like 1h lessons over.

Ahwell. Nothing can be changed now, I should have never gone to nanyang. I've given up, im screwing everything up, and im worried how im not as stressed as i should be, or rather, why im not doing anything to help myself.

CLARICE THE AWESOME ♥ 7/21/2010 11:39:00 PM